Chapter 44

Romance, Love And Sex

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;
loving someone deeply gives you courage.


The emotions of romance and love are triggered by hormones, the most important of which is the dehydraepiandrosterone, in short DHEA. The other love hormones are produced by enzymes acting on DHEA. Professor Semir Zeki of University College, London has found through brain scan research studies that love is indeed blind

This startling conclusion was reached when it was found that the brain activity of those in love showed that the brain deactivates their faculties of critical reasoning and negative emotions and judgments.

The most active parts of the brain of those in romantic relationships were those which respond to oxytocin and vasopressin which boost relationship building.

Oxytocin is also the hormone of touch which triggers physical sensuousness through touching. It also bonds the relationships of friends, family and especially the mother-child bond.

Hormones play a man-woman relationship equation and there are: Dopamine is the pleasure stimulating hormone which drives the desire for sex, drugs, alcohol and other addictions.

The hormone serotonin called the happiness hormone is a double edged sword. When there is too little it makes one feel low and depressed but also sexually aggressive and indiscriminate.

Anti depressant drugs like Prozac generates a sense of calm, peace and tranquillity are used to boost levels. When the level is high, it suppresses sex drive.

Phenylethylamine a hormone like chemical in the body is similar to amphetamines found in colas and chocolates. It stimulates the euphoria of being in love.

Testosterone is the sex and orgasm seeking hormone, however it pushes aggressively for sexual gratification and domination and is counter productive for long term relationship building. Excessive levels sometimes instigate violent behaviour.

Oestrogen is a female hormone which works like pollen for women, to attract men. It makes women exude a smell and aura signalling their preparedness for sexual consummation. Women also tend to look their attractive best when they are most fertile. Nature’s ways of helping them find a mate.

After menopause, the oestrogen levels tend to drop, resulting in moodiness, hot flushes, vaginal dryness, etc. In severe cases, oestrogen supplements may be recommended by a doctor.

High oestrogen levels in men can result in their having mood swings, food cravings and even sprouting breasts!

Prolactin and progesterone are some other hormones that affect various other body functions including romance, love and sex.

Research carried out in various institutions around the world shows that having regular sex and orgasm has many benefits.

Regular sex increases longevity, provides exercise and burns calories, releases endorphins which alleviates pain, strengthens the functioning of the bladder, enhances the immune system thus warding off disease and brings about a sense of well being. It also relaxes and reduces stress.

The intimacy involved helps improve relationships. It release dopamine which is a happiness stimulating chemical in the body.

Sex is closely related to romance and love and depending on the individual may not work well if devoid of these, especially for women.

Life without love is